Procrastination

Okay, can we just talk about something for a second?

There's a habit out there that's just as addictive and just as harmful as any drug, and I'm currently powerless to stop it. I'm just sitting here, sipping my tea and watching as it turns my life into a horrible train-wreck.

What is this habit, you ask?

If you know me, you know I'm a chronic procrastinator. And usually, I get things in on time, I just wait until the last minute to do them whenever possible. But lately, it's been getting worse.

Much worse.

I'm not just procrastinating my work now. Oh, no, I've moved on to bigger and more horrible things. I'm actually procrastinating my health.

I've been staying up later to finish things because "I can take a nap later" (which I never do). I've been forgetting to eat dinner until 8 or 9 pm. I've been procrastinating showers.

Granted, a majority of the reason I put things off is because I'm lazy or I get side-tracked. Just a couple of days ago, I bought a pack of socks at the store because I didn't want to take the time to do my laundry. Most of the things I procrastinate on are also fairly low on my priority list. I know, for instance, that I don't need to shower every day or that I can miss one week's blog post because I'm busy. I'm a junior in college; it's not like I have hours and hours of free time.

But still. It's getting a little out-of-hand.

So, let's look at this objectively. Why do people, in general, procrastinate?

They don't like the task.

Often, people will put off doing things they don't like. It makes sense. I mean, I know at this point that I'm not gonna need math for my career, so why would I jump at the chance to do math homework? Sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it anyway. I know that working in a distraction-free environment allows me to get my work done more quickly, but it's still easier said than done.


They don't have enough free time.

This, I've found, is the majority of my problem. When you don't have more than a few hours of free time per day, you don't have proper time to wind-down and do what it is that you want to do. This is why I don't sleep; if I know that I won't finish my work until bedtime, I'll end up doing things that I want to instead.

If I've been working for over twelve hours, I'd rather read than I would sleep. (Even if I regret it the next morning.)


They have too much free time.

Just the same as not having enough free time can be bad, having too much free time can be even worse. Sometimes people get into the habit of spending all day relaxing or doing whatever they please, and when they suddenly don't have that same  amount of leisure time, their priorities shift. I know, for instance, that I'm much less productive right after breaks because I'm coming back after having experienced the good life - a life free of responsibilities and anxieties.

The thing is, when you're busy, you're much more likely to be productive. An object in motion stays in motion, as they say.


Disorganization.

Can't find the thing? Don't do the thing.


The task, as a whole, is overwhelming.

This is especially true for large projects, like ones that require you to work in groups or ones that span the entire semester. It's overwhelming because it's a lot of work. How can I possibly finish all of that?

I understand that we're not supposed to finish everything in one go (and often, it's impossible to do so), but it's still very hard to break down the tasks and do them over a long period of time, especially when you don't have to submit things in increments.


They think they work better under a time-crunch / They underestimate the time it'll take to complete the task.

Everyone's dealt with this at some point. Frankly, sometimes being "passable" or "finished" is good enough.

I don't have a lot of solutions to these problems, and even if I do, it's definitely not easy to implement them. If you know how to fix this, please share. I'm reaching the point of no return, here. But, hey, at least knowing what's wrong is the first step to fixing the problem, right?

The older I get, the more I miss being a child.

Oh, God, I'm not even twenty-one. Taxes are on the horizon.

...

Can I be eight years old again?

Hair Care

I need an easy post this week, so I'm turning to something I know well - hair care tips. I'd like to say in advance: sorry (and also, you're welcome).

So, let's start out by pointing out that I have long hair.

Please excuse the bathroom selfies.

Really long. And a lot of it. And, surprisingly enough, it's pretty healthy. But how do I keep it healthy? Well, let me impart my secrets onto you, young padawan, in the form of a few tips.

1

DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR EVERY DAY

You've probably heard this before, but that's because it's true and it's important to remember. When you wash your hair, you're washing out natural oils. And yes, it's important to shower regularly, but showering every day (or multiple times a day) can result in a dry, itchy scalp and dry hair that ultimately leads to static and breaking.

On average I wash my hair every other day; sometimes every couple of days if I'm really busy. Or lazy. It's honestly pretty low on my priority list, and I only wash my hair when I absolutely have to.

Tip: Don't want to wash your hair? Dry shampoo is nice, or you can use baby powder on your scalp (though that might leave flakes). On the other hand, you can do lots of things with up-dos and hats!

2

USE A COMB AFTER SHOWERING

It's actually probably a good idea to use a comb as often as possible in place of a brush, but it's most important after showers or whenever your hair is wet. Brushes rip tangles out and break your hair, while combs gently work through tangles.

Tip: Wide-toothed combs are the best!

3

KNOW WHICH PRODUCTS ARE ACTUALLY GOOD 
FOR YOUR HAIR - AND WHICH AREN'T

Some products don't affect your hair too much - some are even good for it! But there are a lot of products that can really damage your hair. The whole idea is that we want our hair to be in a natural state most of the time.

An easy way to remember what's generally good or bad is this: good products give more to your hair, while bad products take away. For example, deep-conditioning treatments are great because they work to restore the oils that get washed away in the water, while hairspray can be damaging because it sucks moisture out of the hair and forces it to do something it doesn't naturally do.

Tip: I recommend smoothing serums, which work as leave-in conditioners. They leave your hair soft and silky, and they often have really nice, fruity scents! Do your best to stay away from products that make your hair stiff.

4

AVOID HEAT

HEAT = BAD. Try to avoid blow-drying, straightening, or curling your hair as much as possible. Besides, you'll find that your hair looks best once you stop fighting it! Embrace your natural look!

Tip: If you do use heat, make sure to use a spray that protects your hair from heat damage.

5

GET YOUR HAIR TRIMMED REGULARLY

This is a very important step to keeping your hair healthy, and it's also important if you want to grow your hair long. Get rid of those split-ends; your hair will grow faster and look better!

Tip: I get my hair trimmed about once every six-weeks, but I'd say go once every couple of months and you're good.

6

USE SHAMPOOS THAT ARE SPECIFIC TO YOUR NEEDS

Remember that the skin on your scalp is not much different than skin on the rest of your body. It can dry out. It can get sunburned. It can get oily or flaky. If you use shampoos and conditioners that will keep your scalp healthy, you'll hardly have to do anything else.

Tip:
Oily scalp? Shampoo your hair as soon as you get in the shower and let it sit. Rinsing it out should be your second-to-last step (right before conditioning).

Dry scalp? Try to find a shampoo/conditioner with the ingredient "tea tree" in it; it works as an intensive moisturizer/healer. It also tingles. Use it until you don't feel the tingling as much, then only use it sparingly.

7

DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK YOUR HAIRDRESSER QUESTIONS

This is what they were trained to do. If you have a question, ask them. They will probably have an answer.

And that's about all I have for you today. Remember these things, oh student of mine, and you shall have great hair for eternity!*


*I cannot guarantee great hair for eternity. These are just things that have worked for me.

The Groundhog Day Dilemma

So, yesterday was February 2nd, also known as Groundhog Day. Or, as you non-Americans like to call it, "Monday."

The prediction? Six more weeks of winter. Surprise, surprise.

In any case, the event got me thinking about that classic Bill Murray movie that goes by the same name, in which he relives the same day over and over and over again. And that, in turn, made me think.

What would I do if I had the chance to re-do an entire day?

It's hard for me to come up with a definitive answer. On one hand, if I lost my memories from the first time around, I'd probably wind up making the same decisions. Whenever I choose one path over another, there's a reason behind it. So, I imagine I'd always come to the same conclusion, regrets and everything.

On the other hand, if I did remember (like Bill does in the movie) I think it would be way different. I'd get the chance to explore all those what ifs; to say yes when I said no before; to choose the other path.

But then there's also the thought: What if time were to start up again randomly? The idea that the days would continue on suddenly, especially without me knowing when, brings up a whole new set of questions.

What if you made a decision that would severely shorten your life-span and then had to live with the consequences? Or alternatively, what if you made a risky decision that wound up changing your life in the best possible way?

And that's the core problem of what I've dubbed the "Groundhog Day Dilemma" - no matter how many "do-overs" you get, there's always going to be "what ifs."

My advice? Take each day for what it is. Don't glorify it. Don't dwell on the problems. Be happy for the good things and do your best to accept the things you can't change. Celebrate the good things that came out of today and always strive to have even more to celebrate tomorrow.

Still... a little speculation never hurt anyone. And now I'm curious.

What would you do if you had the chance to start the day over?

- - - - - - - - - - -

I want to say sorry for the short hiatus. It took some time to get settled in to the new semester, but I'm back now! From now on, I'll be posting every Tuesday. See you soon, and thanks for reading!

Does Love Exist?

Today was one of my first days back on campus for the new semester. I spent some hanging out and talking with friends, but after about an hour of playing cards and listening to music, our conversation took an interesting turn.

A close friend asked me if I believed that love really existed.

Now, this is a very loaded question. It's like asking what the meaning of life is or if I believe human nature is wholly good or bad. It's honestly an opinion, when it comes down to it.

My answer?

Yes.

Yes, I do believe love exists.

I understand that a lot of people nowadays don't believe in love, and that's okay. Like I said, it's a matter of opinion. There can be successful relationships where one or both individuals don't think love is real, just as there can be failed relationships where both parties were in love. With the divorce rates these days, I don't really blame people for not believing in it. And if you asked me if the idea that a "One True Love" exists, my answer would be different.

But here's my reasoning.

Love is not one feeling. It does not come out of nowhere. I see love as something that is built. It is built from trust and understanding. It's built from compassion and respect. It's built from honesty and familiarity.

It is built.

This is something that applies to all forms of love; romantic, familial, platonic, spiritual. And it's important to understand. Once you do, it makes it difficult to build relationships that are based solely on 'love' because you realize... well... you can't. Because love is many things, not just one feeling.

Sometimes love comes easier between two people than it does others. But with enough determination from both parties, love can exist between anyone.

I don't, however, believe love is something that will last forever on it's own. It's something you have to work for constantly. But, ultimately, that's what keeps relationships alive, even after the newness and excitement of it all dies down. As long as there is still trust and honesty and compassion and understanding and all of those other things, love will not go away.

I'm not saying that people who have fallen out of love were not trying hard enough or that they were never in love. I'm not saying that they were a bad match. That's not what I'm saying. Sometimes things just don't work out, due to circumstances and unexpected changes. It happens.

All I'm saying is that I don't think love is a concept that people made up. I don't think it's a feeling that suddenly comes to you and then never leaves. I think it is something that is born from many things, and it's something that has to be pursued.

I believe that love is real. I really, truly do.

What Makes a Life Well-Lived?

For years and years, I felt like I hadn't been living my life to the fullest.

There isn't a set of rules that says "This is how you should live" and we all lead very different lives with our own unique experiences. Yet somehow, despite this, we all have a general idea of what "living the good life" looks like.

Eating good food. Partying with friends. Traveling all of the time. Constantly meeting new people. Doing really exciting activities. And so on, and so forth.

But here's the thing: I don't like the party scene, I tend to get nervous around new people, and I don't make a lot of money. I can't do these things on a regular basis. And, because of that, I've felt this omnipresent anxiety throughout my life that made me think I was wasting time. I felt like, if I wasn't out skydiving, I wasn't living my life to the fullest.

It's a bit of a generalization, but you get the picture.

Now, I don't know where exactly I got the idea that this stuff was the kind of thing that made a life one that was well-lived. It's stuff that just kind of gathered in my head over the course of several years. But here's my hypothesis: we idealize these exciting activities because they are exciting. They're things that differ from our normal, everyday lives. They make memories.

And that really made me think. If living life to the fullest was all about making memories, why doesn't that apply to more moderate activities?

This revelation hit me this past summer, when I spent an entire day reading Wikipedia articles and thought I'd wasted my day. I was like, "This is my summer vacation! I should be out doing something fun!" I could've spent my day at the pool or the zoo, or I could've been hanging out with friends. But instead, I'd spent all of my time reading.

And then it hit me.

My mind was telling me I had wasted my day, but I had actually really enjoyed it. Yet somehow, over the years, I'd conditioned myself to hate the idea; to hate myself because I'd spent all day indoors, alone. But the fact remains: I had enjoyed it. A lot. And when I looked back at it from a different perspective, I didn't feel like the day had gone down the drain. I had spent the day learning about things that I found interesting; learning because of a desire to learn, not because I had to.

Once I realized this, things became much clearer. A life well-lived was about making memories - well, wasn't I making them?

I remember being in middle school, sitting in my robe and reading short stories on the internet because it was a snow day. I remember how it feels to sit in the living room with my family, all of us wrapped up in our own activities and only breaking the silence when we wanted to share our thoughts on something. I remember riding my bike around the neighborhood, holding onto my house phone because I didn't understand that it wouldn't work once it was out-of-range. I remember lying on the sunroom floor and talking on the phone at nearly two in the morning to a friend who lived in another state. I remember conversations and moments and feelings.

And - here's the kicker -  I remember all of these things just as clearly as I remember the trip I took to the Mediterranean last summer. Like all of these things happened yesterday.

At that moment, I understood that I was living. Really, truly living. Sure, I'd love to travel more. Sure, I want to create things more often and spend more time with loved ones. Sure, things could be better. But things could always be better.

It's not about how your life could improve or what you could be doing, it's about what you are doing. It's about spending your time doing what you enjoy and being around people you love, as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else.

People don't all function the same way - we don't all like the same things, we don't all make the same amount of money or have the same amount of free time, we don't have the same ambitions. But we all need down time. And down time is not the same thing as wasted time. Time spent unwinding from stress is not wasted. Time spent with people you love is not wasted.

Look at yourself and ask, "If I were to die tomorrow, would I be happy with how I'm living my life? With what I've put into the world? With how I've treated people?"

If you answered yes, be at peace and enjoy each day. If you answered no, work towards becoming a person that can say 'yes.'

Because when you can answer 'yes' to that question, you, my friend, are living a life well-lived.

Why Start a Blog?

Hello! Let me start by introducing myself. I'm Lindsey Grafe.

As of writing this, I'm a college student who's lived most of my life on the east coast in the good ol' U.S. of A. I enjoy a large variety of things - mostly food - and I spend the majority of my time on the internet. My family and my faith are the most important things to me. Also, I have a bit of an obsession with the sky. And dragons.

Okay, so now you know who I am, and I know what you're thinking. Why in the world are you starting a blog? At least, I'm sure someone is thinking that. And I have an answer for them. Or you. For whoever's asking. And that is this:

Because I can.

...

Honestly, that's the answer. That's it. Really.

Want a little backstory? Alrighty, then.

A couple of nights ago, I tried to go to sleep early and wound up having a slight mental breakdown mixed with a teeny tiny existential crisis. You know, the usual. I realized I was going back to school soon and I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go back to the constant overwhelming stress of schoolwork and the sub-par wi-fi connection. And although I love my friends, I didn't want to leave my family.

The wave of depression that crashed over me at the thought of going back to school and falling back into the same routine was enough to make me question nearly everything about my life. Am I really pursuing the right career? Do I really want to go through another year of college after this? Is this really what I want to do with my life?

Yes.

So, with that out of the way, I moved on to attempting to figure out why I was feeling so overwhelmed; why I felt like I'd wasted my break, even though I really enjoyed some of the things I did. The answer hit me very clearly once I actually thought about it.

I was bored.

A certain monotony had settled into my daily life. Wake up, spend all day on the computer, go to sleep. Or, alternatively: wake up, spend all day in classes, go to sleep. And even though I'd do something different every once-in-a-while, it was always the same different things. Writing. Reading. Art. Music. It was a bit of a startling realization, but I haven't tried anything new new for a very long time.

Fortunately, most important step to fixing a problem is figuring out what's wrong. So I thought to myself, 'Self, how do you cure boredom?'

Heck if I know.

Time to break out the search engines.

And, what do you know, I found a blog that spoke of ways to break monotony. It made a lot of good points that I logged in the back of my mind for later, but one of the ones that really jumped out at me was 'pursuing something new with vigor.'

Something new, huh? Well, why not blogging? And, voila!

Ultimately, I have lots of ideas that I want to share. I want to get people to see things from a new perspective and to think about things they may not have otherwise. I crave stimulating conversations. I want to learn about the other humans that inhabit this planet and I want to share my knowledge and experiences.

That's all I really want. That's all I've ever really wanted in life.

With that, I'm going to challenge myself: for the next week, I will post something every other day to get used to blogging. I will try to include either pictures or doodles with each post. Once that time is up, I'll continue to update once a week (because that seems pretty manageable for a student).

Let's see where this journey takes us!

(Also, I'm totally counting this as Wednesday, even though it's after midnight here. See you on Friday!)